Nostalgia?

So randomly out of the blue I decided to go back and read some of my OLD blog posts... like, from when I blogged obsessively my sophomore and junior years of college. I won't link it here because it's vaguely embarrassing, but man, I blogged SO MUCH! Where did all of those emotions go?? (Oh yeah, they sort of disappeared when I assimilated with the Vulcan.) It's been really interesting to read those posts and see what I was focused on (boys... shocker) and what I thought about.
I blogged a lot, literally almost daily, but that was back before I had a smart phone so my blog was how I shared all of my thoughts from the day rather than constantly being on Facebook. Plus now Brady is basically my blog, because instead of blogging about my feelings I just talk to him about them. It also has made me a little sad to see myself back when I still worked at a barn (I got to be with horses almost every day, it was heaven) and how not-so-secretly determined I was to not be single anymore.
It's made me glad that I've become less focused on myself and more focused on the world and other people around me (and I actually have like, REAL political opinions now... though they probably make my mother want to die of embarrassment on the daily, hahaha. Love you mom! Thanks for still loving me even though I'm a crazy flaming liberal!), and that I'm forging my own path for myself. It's made me really glad that I've finally been able to conquer (though admittedly not completely) my depression- it's been kind of rough and sad to see what an underlying current of it there is in so many of my posts.
And, I'll admit, it has made me glad that I snagged such a great husband, even if nowadays I wish I would've appreciated being single a little more fully. And I kind of wish I HAD done that riding working vacation in South Africa... That's honestly my biggest regret, and reading through my blog is just reminding me of it. I really regret that I was SO FOCUSED on college that I didn't realize that it was killing me until it was too late.
I often wonder, especially seeing some of the opportunities that I let pass me by, how things would have been different if I'd taken any of the numerous breaks I thought about taken. Especially when I got suspended. (Yeah. That happened. I don't lie when I say college was REALLY HARD for me. I had two choices, to either take a year off or take one semester to get my grades back up and THEN be forced to take a year off... I should've taken the year off and gone to South Africa to ride horses. But I'd already met Brady at that point and was worried he'd ditch me for someone hotter if I'd left him.) Oh well, It's been really good to remember all of those things, and it's really shown me how important it is to journal.
I'm going to see if there's a way I can export all of my posts from that blog into a physical journal. Even though by the time I have children old enough to feel any sense of relevancy to the content it will be crazy out of date, I want them to be able to read it and believe me when I tell them that I wish I could've done things differently. Just say, "you may not believe me that I ever experienced anything like what you are, and it's true that many years have colored my remembrance of that time in my life, but these are unaltered, directly from me, unfiltered. I've been there, love." And maybe, just maybe, I can help them forge a better path for themselves than I did.